The Movie "loveactually"

 

LoveActually

So to further my quest to have my grubby hands on anything that smells of Colin Firth, I purchased the DVD loveactually. I am not the romantic comedy type. No, they are usually too clichéd, too syrupy, and too all around catered to perpetuate the Cinderella myth or if the gal is not poor and distressed, the a man will be the answer to all of her woes myth. Unfortunately, loveactually falls in this same clump, but it does (since Colin is in it) has moments worth viewing, and on the whole I do not regret the purchase and I shall look at it over and over, I will just have to scene select and so forth.

The movie starts five weeks before Christmas; we know this because as the weeks grow closer to Christmas a subtitle pops up to tell us. So, just the fact that all of this true loving takes place in five weeks grates my nerves from the start.

Hugh Grant plays Britain’s newly elected prime minister, I am not sure if he supposed to be Tony Blair (is Blair married?) or not, but this guy is single and heterosexual. Billy Bob Thornton is the American president who sexually harasses Grant’s love interest, prompting Grant to stand strong against America at a press conference (so unlike Blair).

I know Grant is an ass, and this belief was reinforced when I watched the Director’s cut with a voice over by Grant, the Director, and some of the other actors. Grant repeatedly disses my man Colin and always refers to his scenes as boring. Perhaps this is some banter from their Bridget Jones Diary II days or Grant has had too much hateraide and knows that Colin is just so totally hot and he (Grant) is so totally yesterday. But, I must admit when Grant smiles, his cheeks, directly under his eyes, wrinkles all up and shows how his aging is becoming in a Robert Redford sort of way.

Anyway, the movie is cluttered with too many pairs, and at least three can be cut out and not affect the appeal of the movie. Liam Neeson plays a father of a ten year old and has just lost his wife. I would like to take a hatchet and slam it into this DVD carving every scene with this duo OUT! The brat son is a precocious little twit who is not troubled by the passing of his mother just the week before, but because he is “in love” and the targeted girl does not know his name. Boo fucking who! So what does dad do? Indulge the hell out of him. Remember we are talking a five-week period! In order to gain the 10 year old girl’s love, the boy with dad’s motivation, repeatedly watches Titanic, learns to play the drums, and performs back up for her singing at a yearly Christmas school concert. Afterwards he chases her down through Heathrow airport, pushes pass security (post 9/11, Grant’s character dates the film with a reference) finds her, tells her how much he loves her, in turn, she gives him a kiss while the father waits in the area where people without boarding passes are corralled. @@

Bill Nighy has a somewhat funny part playing an old recovered heroin addict who is competing with popular boy bands for the number one Christmas song. He recycles one of his songs replacing the word “Love” with “Christmas.” LOL. I think it is the same song from Four Weddings and a Funeral, being the same production team and all.

Alan Rickman is seduced by an office vixen. His wife of many years, Emma Thompson discovers a gold necklace that she believes to be hers just to learn Christmas Eve that he bought her a Joni Mitchell CD instead. Very painful stuff and could be a movie in itself. Both actors are superb. When Rickman is in the store trying to buy the trinket, Rowan Anderson is the salesclerk that inflicts pain onto him by taking too long wrapping it. Oh, good times….good times.

There is a pair that does stand-ins for top actors. In each scene they are in very sexual positions with their clothes off, nudity is seen. Because of this, the movie is rated R and I could not allow the kitties to watch. I guess it supposed to be funny how they carry on so casually with sex acts while getting to know each other with conversation. Well they could have been chopped too. It was not funny, nor cute.

One more person that needed the chopping block. An obxinous young guy who picks his nose and says inappropriate comments. He leaves England for Wisconsin because he thinks American women will throw themselves at his British accent. At the first bar he goes to straight from the airport, he meets not one, not two, but four beautiful women who are willing to sex him up and go back to England with him. Okay, whatever.

Dreary Keira Knightley did her typical Pirates posing. God only know how she is going to screw up Pride and Prejudice released in November 2005. I will see it, if not for anything but Judi Dench and to complain how much they mucked it up by not using Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy.

For some reason, I wonder if it is an English thing, it was repeated several times that Christmas was the day of all days that one must tell the Truth! I have never heard that before, I like my Truth daily.

Colin however is flawless, and the biggest mistake the movie makes is not having him in every shot! It will be sacrilegious to tell you a thing about his part, for that info, you must watch yourself. I love how in tune I am with my sexual consciousness. D.H. Lawrence would be so proud.

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3 thoughts on “The Movie "loveactually"

  1. I am not a big Hugh Grant fan – his range of emotions runs from puckish and annoyed to puckish and adorable, and that whole stuttering thing MUST go… but I did enjoy his scenes far more than the ridiculous body double stuff and the nose picker in Milwaukee.And how anyone could cheat on Emma Thompson is beyond me.

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  2. I ♥ this movie. It’s one of my most favorites! And Mr. Firth is totally hot in it, as usual! I can’t wait for the new book that you’re going to read, starting Febuary 22nd. I think I’m going to join in on this one 🙂

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