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Squirrel Reciprocity


Trust me when I say that I don’t care if you believe me or not. Probably you don’t. Although I don’t care that you will not believe me, I still feel the need to convince you. Note also, that I hate you for making me convince you of what I know to be true. If when I’m done, you don’t believe me, know that I shall dismiss you as a cynic and worthy of my disdain, because to me, your disbelief tells me that you are an insipid peasant.

My squirrels love me. When I call out, “Squirreleeta, Squirreleeta,” they come running.

Today, I found a walnut on my doorstep. Right in the corner of the door where there was no chance I could miss it when I opened the door.

Of course my present was covered in a patina of dirt. I see the squirrels burying nuts, going back and unburying them, and checking on the various hiding places all the time. I know this walnut is a present from one of the squirrels. He/she is giving back for all that I’ve given them, –fruit, bread, and crackers.

I will miss the squirrels when I am finally able to leave this God-forsaken hellhole.

The Rain Rain Rain Came Down Down Down

The rain rain rain came down down down
In rushing rising riv’lets
Till the river crept out of its bed
And crept right into Piglet’s


For Piglet he was frightened with quite a rightful fright
And so in desperation a message he did write
He placed it in a bottle and it floated out of sight

And the rain rain rain came down down down
So Piglet started bailing
He was unaware atop his chair
While bailing he was sailing

(Prediction) World Series 2017: Why There Will Be a Benches-Clearing Brawl

Misreading geographical-cultural cues will lead to a benches-clearing brawl.


Astros, Carlos Correa, Alex Bregman, Jose Altuve, and Yuli Gurriel will misread Andre Ethier’s wonderment as excessive, inexcusable, offensive, and unprovoked mean mugging.


Andre Ethier will actually have been pondering if he could have made it up to Starbucks before the next inning.

(Prediction) World Series 2017: Why There Will Be a Benches-Clearing Brawl

The first reason for a brawl  will be due to the hostility between the Los Angeles Dodgers 3rd baseman Justin Turner, and The two Houston Astros’s Evan Gattis and Brian McCann.


920x920Turner is bitter that he was unable to convince Gattis and McCann to let him become a Slag Brother.



Rock and Gavel sternly and  mercilessly rejected Granite’s request.